“Where are you from?” is an interesting but perplexing question. How do you decide where you are from? I was born in Utah but moved to California before my 1st birthday. Six years later my family, now included two brothers, moved to Saudi Arabia. The next nine years was spent in Oregon, adding a sister and a brother to the family. I went on to spend the next 10 years after high school living in Utah, South Korea, Oregon and Taiwan. When faced with the above question I answer Oregon, it easier, it's home but it isn't completely true. This question is hard for me to answer because I feel that whom I am is greatly influenced by where I've lived and experiences I’ve had in each place.
Utah ~ May 1980
My father graduated from his Master's program in the summer of 1980, married and the father of one (me). I have no memory of this moment, I was only a few months old, but it is a perfect example of the concept of family that I grew up with. My parents felt and taught us that marriage and children didn't need to wait for education, wealth etc. We were taught that family was more important then monitory wants. Family was first
and foremost in our home.
California ~ August 1985
I vaguely remember the first time I realized that families were different from mine. I was sitting at the kitchen table of our neighbors eating cereal, Cheerios. I had spent the night because my mom and dad were at the hospital getting my new baby brother. My babysitter asked if I wanted sugar on my cereal. I was surprised and didn't know what to say. I thought all Moms knew you weren't allowed to put sugar on cereal.
Riyadh, Saudi Arabia ~ 1987 to 1989
I spent second and third grade attending an international school in Saudi Arabia. During this time I was surrounded by classmates from all over the world and was living in a culture completely different from mine. I started to learn that not only did other families have different rules from mine, there was a country filled with people different from my family. They spoke a different language and wrote words and numbers that looked like scribbles to me. Their church was even different then mine, they stopped and prayed five times a day. I was taught that it was interesting and fun that my classmates and I came from different countries and from different parts of the US.
Salem, Oregon ~ Spring 1997
It was a typical day in high school I was sitting in English Class following the conversation but was more involved in counting the minutes till class was over. We were discussing the role of women in the work place. It had turn into the overly predictable debate if women should stay home or work. I sat listening to a guy in the class talking about how women should be in work places etc. When I raised my hand, to the surprise of my teacher and myself. I commented that women are told they have to be employed, set a new standard by working or they are told to be nurturers and stay home to care for their children. Women are always being told what they should be doing or not doing. Women should work because they want to work or stay home because they want to be at home. I still feel this way, coming from a traditional family certain ideas were fixed, like dad work and mom stays home. Even when my mom did work she worried about not being home. It made me sensitive to the pressure some women feel to do it all and the stress from trying to.
Utah ~ May 1998 to July 2001
My parents raised us in the LDS church and it is a huge part of who my family is and who I am. I decided to go to college in Utah and for the first time in my life I was in a community where the dominant religion was mine. Once again I felt like I was sitting at the kitchen table with the sugar bowl, see how others were "being" Mormon and how it was differed or similar to the home I grew up in. It was also the first time I was able to explore what I believed independent of my family and the importance religion was going to have in my life.
Korea ~ Nov 2001 to Feb 2003
I didn't go into my mission in Korea thinking it was going to be easy, I expected it to be hard. But I wasn't prepared for the stares I received all day long. I spent my whole life being the girl next door. At 5 foot 5 inches, my green eyes and blond hair, never stood out much in Oregon or Utah. But in Inchon, Korean far from Seoul and the army base I stood out. People would stare and take my picture when they thought I wasn't looking. The attention changed me and changed the way I viewed myself. It took me a long time to understanding that looking different from the norm didn't change who I was. I learned and gained an idea of how your race effects they way people treat you and how that can affects your view of self.
Utah ~ April 2006
Training to be a casework for family services I was told my beliefs, morals, and ideas of right and wrong had to be left at home everyday I went to work. Suddenly I was introduced to a part of my community that I knew existed but never experienced. The effects of poverty, drug use and abuse and the difficulty of getting out of each one was no longer in a textbook. It was the life of the people I worked with everyday. At first the things my clients did, their standard of lived, and how they treated their children and family horrified me. Then one day I sighed with relief when given a case where a parent was only using marijuana. I start advocating that children, who were thriving in the foster homes, be returned to their parent in residential treatment after year of being homeless and using multiple drugs. I was surprised to find what I had once found unacceptable I was now advocating for. It made me worry about who I was becoming, if I was doing the right thing for my clients and myself. I struggled to find a balance of understanding others and their choices and holding onto what I believed.
Taiwan ~ June 2007 to June 2008
Cultural difference was a word I grew up. Having been exposed to multiple cultures I knew there were difference but felt these difference were exaggerated. People were people and that mattered more then one’s culture. Then I spent a year teaching English in Taiwan working in their cultural and with their work ethic. Suddenly, cultural differences was no longer an exaggeration but a fact. I had to learn how to judge the interactions of my employer and students by their culture and not mine. It was easy to be offended and upset by my interactions with them. It forced me to learn how respect and understand their culture while holding onto my culture beliefs. It helped me get closer to find that balance I needed as a caseworker.
All these experiences have impacted my views on, race, social class, gender, religion, family, and culture. Views that have shaped my personal beliefs, my reactions and the decisions I’ve made and I'm making in life. That is why I consider myself from all these places because parts of who I am was developed and discovered in each one.
